Travails of an African immigrant
A certain chief arrived in his new country with lofty ideas and zeal to work hard and make a mark in society as well as raise his two young kids to full maturity. Being a strong and disciplined man, he was determined to succeed both as an accounting professional and as a family man. He felt he had the responsibility of raising well-formed kids that would be useful to the family and contribute meaningfully to the community they now live in; this being the main purpose of relocating to this new country. Since maturity, he had always been in control, directing the affairs of his family and his wife and kids had been very understanding and supportive until a few months after their arrival in their new country. As the chief quietly observed the subtle disagreements between his wife and the kids, he would often intervene and decree on what everyone should do and this worked perfectly well for a while, but was time bound.
Securing employment as an accountant – his passion and profession was his immediate challenge as no one was ready to hire him based on his foreign credentials. The savings put together before migration was fast depleting. He hit the streets searching for a job but at each turn he is confronted with not possessing relevant and transferable experiences from his past employers. He had never been employed since his arrival in his new country – this requirement became a daunting one. In a frantic move, he got a referral from a community member for a job that ordinarily he would never imagined himself doing but knowing that the next time he goes to the mail box, there would be a bill waiting, he took up the position hoping to change as soon as he found one in his profession. His spouse on the other hand, did not have to wait for a long time before being gainfully employed in one of the retail chains and this helped in the settling in process.
Over the next few months however, the once subtle disagreements at home took a different shape. His lovely wife who had always supported his decisions now joined the children not only to disregard his opinions but contemptuously poised to challenge him in the presence of the children and this made him very unhappy and confused. He tried as much as he could to solve his problems by reinvigorating his smoking habit on account of cold weather but the more he tried, the more the situation degenerated. As the situation in his home began to affect his mood and competence at his temporary work place, he sought counsel from his friends and colleagues; the responses he got further shocked him beyond his imagination. According to them, he should always find a way to balance issues by negotiating with them on what should be done rather than presuming that he has absolute control of what happens in his house. He cannot even control or discipline the young one any longer and this depressed greatly him.
It happened that there was an incident at home and in irritation, he used a small device he had seized from another of his kid as a weapon of discipline. As he threw the object at his kid it left a mark on the child’s lower face. The next day, he got a note from the school inviting him for a meeting. Within himself, he was very pleased at this invitation as he thought it would give him an opportunity to report the kid to the teachers so they could discipline him thoroughly. To his bewilderment, rather than listening to his complaints, he was admonished and given a counselling program on how kids should be treated. Furthermore, he was informed that any repeat occurrence would mean taking the children away from him. This experience, the changing roles of domestic chores and unfriendly white flakes outside that make everyone walk like a penguin set the chief in a revolting mode. But unfortunately this option is off the table as the consequences are far beyond his natural imagination and what his spirit can content with at prevailing circumstances.
With good counselling from his community members, he decides to love himself better than he had hitherto done and work seriously on his scripted ego to simply embrace change and move on. To his greatest amazement in a short while, life seems normal once again, his spirit began to life and he could once again fantasize on grandeur of living abroad. Within the period, he also developed a strategy of asking for help in the use of the various devices and gadgets which were till lately, instruments of rudeness, waste of money and above all – time. In fact this had been one major source of conflict and irritation for him at home; as everyone would ever busied themselves with the little devices even when he returned home tired and famished from daily travails, no one seemed to care and he blamed it on the devices rather than realizing that times have changed. It was until he stopped living in denial and embraced his new life; that he found peace not only within himself but also in others as well as the things around him.
It at this time since him arrival that he noticed the age long virtue of respect to the elderly, help to the weak and vulnerable which is an eloquent testimony of civilization and enhanced community living. If one contrasts this value to the brutish manner in which the strong and mighty trample on the less privileged group in the developing world, it was then he convinced himself he had actually taken a worthwhile decision.
About the author
Michael Uchelimafor Iwekuba is an Ottawa based mortgage advisor. He is married with three kids and he enjoys reading, travelling and writing short stories.
Goodmorning Mr Iwekuba,
My name is Dr Alinnor Ezioma living in Portharcourt. Nigeria.
I have been thinking about your family lately and decided to find a way to catch up. I used to be your doctor years ago at Shawsand Medical centre.
I really wish to get in touch with your wife again.
Its been sooooo long sir. I trust that e erything is fine.
I really hope you can still remember me
Hello Mr Uche ( my former direct boss in Fugro Nigeria),
it is wonderful to read about your experience living abroad especially in western countries.
Your story is quite fun to read and also a learning to the matured men ( above 45 years) who are migrating with families from Nigeria.
Your story is very similar to our experiences in Europe and I am happy that your kids are still very much in your house. Most family have lost their kids to the social welfare system and we need this forum to constantly guide and educate people who want to migrate to Western world. Even though life here is very organized, but the cultural differences might make it miserably for migrants if they are not properly tutored.
God bless you sir fr sharing your experience.