Rev. Daniel Joseph

Steps to practical Christianity

by Rev. Daniel Joseph (formerly Bassey Ekong)

TOPIC 1: FORGIVENESS:

PRAYER:

  1. Holy Spirit, rain on me now, in the name of Jesus.
  2. I reject every spiritual pollution, in the name of Jesus
  3. Holy Ghost fire, destroy every satanic garment in my life, in the name of Jesus.

TOPIC: WORKING WITH THE SPIRIT OF FORGIVENESS (Read Matthew 18:21-35)

  1. WHAT IS FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is a spirit that controls the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go,” as when a person does not demand payment for a debt. Jesus used this comparison when he taught his followers to pray:

“Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.” Luke 11:4. Likewise, in his parable of the unmerciful slave, Jesus equated forgiveness with canceling a debt. Matthew 18:23-35.

We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up any claim to be compensated for the hurt or loss we have suffered. The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness, since love “does not keep account of the injury.”1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

  • WHAT FORGIVENSS IS NOT

Before we delve into understanding what forgiveness is, let us also get to understand what forgiveness in not. These are what forgiveness is not:

•            Condoning the offense. The Bible condemns those who claim that bad actions are harmless or acceptable. Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Isaiah 5:20.

•            Pretending that the offense never happened; sweeping things under the carpet. It might require a time to heal. God forgave King David of serious sins, but he did not shield David from the consequences of his actions. God even had David’s sins recorded so that they are remembered today. “This is what the Lord says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’ “Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 2 Samuel 12:9-13.

  • Forgiveness is not pretending or trying to forget. Forgetting is not part of forgiveness. (Explain)
  • Forgiveness does not mean to embrace or kiss the offender or to move in and live together with the offender. That could happen after you have seen a genuine repentance, apologies, and remorse. The offender must gain your trust first of all.  In the case of repeated hurt from the same person, God commands you to forgive the person or persons immediately, and you are not to trust them immediately and you are not expected to continue to allow them to hurt you. do something about it and possibly distance yourself from them.
  •  Like in the case of a spouse, forgiveness is clearing the ground for meaningful discussions to take place. If the hurt refuses to stop, you can bring in the church to intervene. Don’t jump into a divorce or do other untoward thing to complicate the situation. (explain)
  • True forgiveness does not mean waiting for the offender to apologise, repent or show remorse. You forgive whether the offender shows remorse or not. Do it immediately. (See Matthew 18:21-22) illustrated further.
  • HOW DOES IT WORK

In our own strength, forgiving others in the way we have received God’s forgiveness is impossible, but with God, nothing is impossible and with his Spirit inside of us we can go through a process leads to true forgiveness. If you have significantly hurt by someone or others you least expected could hurt you, it might be necessary to seek help from a Christian Counsellor. Here are 10 steps you can use to handle the process of forgiveness:

A. Acknowledge the pain:

Don’t numb yourself that something hurtful has happened. It will open you up to begin to forgive.

B. imagine being on the offenders’ side:

Think about the time when you have had to ask for forgiveness. Think also about the freedom and the joy that you will receive as you forgive and offender. Matthew 7:12- it is the law and the prophets that whatever we expect others to do for us, we should do it to them. This is a faith principle for victory.

C. Remember God’s forgiveness:

You can still forgive someone without the person being there to receive it. When you remember how God has forgiven you all your sins and Jesus paid for your sins, you will understand that it is imperative for you to forgive and offender.

D. think through things:

Chances are that your feelings will come in the way for forgiveness to take place. But remember that you are not forgiving the person, as such, but that you are disengaging yourself from the “hook” of the enemy. You choose to follow Christ and not the devil’s attempt to steal, kill and destroy.

E. Reflect on what the Bible has taught you:

             Jesus stressed the importance for forgiveness on many occasions that He:

  1. Included it in the Lord’s prayer- “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those…Matthew 6:12
  2. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Luke 23:34
  3. Not 7 times, but 70×7 times. Matthew 18:21-22
  4. So likewise, shall my heavenly Father do unto you if you from your heart forgive not everyone his brother’s trespasses.
  5. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. Hebrews 12:15. There are many more.

F. Let go of the hurt:

The devil is an expert at getting a foothold when we have made a choice to forgive but the wound is still fresh. Don’t let the offence becloud your faith in God. Choose to move forward. This is where prayer is essential, because, on our own it is not easily possible.

G. Continue to forgive:

Forgiveness is more than just saying a prayer and moving on. It is a serious decision that you make over and over again for the rest of your life. It may be painful and uncomfortable but, believe God, it will always be worth it in the end.

H. Pray for the person who hurt you:

Jesus commands us to love our enemies-Matthew 5:4, and pray for those who persecute you. ask God to reveal His love for the ones who offend you. in Philippians 4:13-I can do all things…. And Romans 12:21-do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good. God will always give us the grace to carry out His Word and will for our lives. Make the right choice and start a journey of forgiveness today.

  1. Let God be God in your life & don’t be god for yourself:

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19. Instead of reserving forgiveness for you to avenge, stop playing God. Cry to Him; He will make thing better for you than you can do.

J. Look at forgiveness as a process of self-protection:

For every offence committed against you, the devil is coming to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10; Ephesians 6:10-13. The devil is master rogue; he is also throwing a hook to see if you will bite. He is also testing your faith in Christ whom you profess to love. Do all you can to disappoint him.

A WORD OF CAUTION!!

NEVER ATTEMPT TO GET MARRIED OR TO MARRY ANYBODY IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN WHO IS STRUGGLING WITH FORGIVENESS. PLEASE, BE HEALED OF LACK OF FORGIVENSS BEFORE YOU CONTEMPLATE ON MATRIMONY.

FORGIVENESS OPTIONS FOR MARRIED COUPLES:

  1. SEEK COUNSELL FROM YOUR PASTOR OR A DEVOUT MAN OF GOD, OR THE CHURCH COUNCIL
  2. SEEK COUNSELL FROM THE SAINTS IN THE CHURCH ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE ENJOYED STABLE MARRIAGES OVER THE YEARS AND LET THEM PRAY WITH YOU FOR THE DEVIL TO GET OFF YOUR MARRIAGE.
  3. ENLIST THE SUPPORT OF TRUE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES AND LET THEM PRAY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.
  4. JOIN AN INTERCESSORY GROUP OF PRAYER WORRIORS, PRAY FOR THE MARRIAGE OF OTHER PEOPLE. ALSO PRAY EVERYDAY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.
  5. DON’T BE IN THE HABIT OF COMPLAINING TO YOUR FRIENDS, PARENTS AND RELATIVES. MANAGE YOUR HOME AND MARRIAGE WITH THE WISDOM OF GOD AND BE GUIDED BY THE WORD OF GOD IN YOUR HEART.
  6. PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM THE DETAILS OF ANY WRONGS HAPPENEING IN YOUR MARRIAGE.

BENEFITS OF FORGIVENESS

  1. There is Joy in Forgiving

Remember what forgiveness involves. You are not condoning the wrong or acting as if it never happened—you are simply letting it go away from you.

Recognize the benefits of forgiving. Letting go of anger and resentment will help you to keep calm, improve your health, and increase your happiness. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Matthew 5:9.

  • Even more important, forgiving others is the key to receiving God’s forgiveness for your own sins. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15. From these verses, therefore, forgiving others is a command and not an advice.
  • To be empathetic, we must understand that all of us are imperfect. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. James 3:2. Just as we appreciate being forgiven, we should likewise forgive the mistakes of others. So, in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12.
  • The more you forgive the stronger in faith, the happier you become and the more complete you are as a person of God. You claim freedom to serve God without fear or favor. You also claim your sonship from the enemy who wants to trip you so you fall and he will drag you into his den to torture and destroy you.
  • Enables you to put up with people. Be reasonable in all your dealings with your fellow Christians. When there is a minor cause for complaint, you can apply the Bible’s counsel: “Continue putting up with one another.” Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13.
  • You deny the devil the chance to destroy your faith in Christ. Act quickly whenever there is an occasion requiring forgiveness. Work to forgive as soon as you can rather than letting your anger fester. “In your anger do not sin.” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27.
  • Protects marriage and gives the family room to be strong. In your family, forgiveness must begin with you, the husband, and the wife. There is no perfect spouse, therefore do not think that your spouse is infallible. There is no healthy marriage or healthy family without forgiveness being the guiding light for everybody concerned. Without forgiveness the family becomes an arena for conflict to thrive and a stronghold for the devil to operate. The family is the microcosm of the larger church, its purity translates into the purity of the larger body worldwide. May God bless the families of all His children, in Jesus’ name.
  • Allows peace to reign in your life. I believe you now understand what forgiveness involves. Our Bible, at times gives the meaning of the word “forgive” as “let go.” So forgiveness does not always require that you forget what happened or minimize the wrong. Sometimes it means that you simply need to let go of a matter, for your own well-being and the well-being of your relationship as well as for peace and happiness to prevail in your life, your marriage, your family and in your relationship with God.

CONSEQUENCES OF LACK OF FORGIVENSS

  1. There are consequences for not forgiving. We now understand that holding on to resentment can put you at greater risk for a wide range of physical and emotional problems, including depression and high blood pressure, and spiritual problem as well in that your faith will be negatively impacted.
  2. Holding unto unforgiveness will also damage your marriage and has enough power to destroy your family. For your good, the Lord says: “Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another.” Ephesians 4:32.
  3.  A spirit of forgiveness allows you and your brother/sister to give each other the benefit of the doubt rather than to “keep score” of wrongs. That, in turn, helps you to create an environment that keeps resentment in check and allows love to grow. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13.

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

We have to be realistic. It is easier to be forgiving when you accept someone for who he or she is. “When you focus on what you didn’t get, it’s too easy to forget all of what you did get, and all that you can get”

Remember, no one is perfect including you. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. James 3:2.

Be reasonable. The next time you are offended by something that somebody said or did, ask yourself: ‘Is the situation really that important? Do I need to demand an apology, or can I just overlook what happened and move on?’ Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.1 Peter 4:8. If necessary, discuss the matter and calmly explain what offended you and why it made you feel that way. Do not impute bad motives or make dogmatic statements, since these will only put your brother/sister on the defensive, and generate hatred. Instead, simply relate how his/her actions affected you.

Please take note of these Scripture portions: “Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another.”—Colossians 3:13. “We all stumble many times.”—James 3:2. “Love covers a multitude of sins.”—1 Peter 4:8.

PRAY:

Father, thank you for your word. Let the power of Your Word hold us responsible to live Your advice; to love our neighbors as we love ourselves and be always ready to forgive all the days of our lives. Help us to be broken, Lord, so that we can do the Spiritual things which the flesh cannot do. Thank you Father, thank You Jesus, thank You Holy Spirit, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Rev Daniel Joseph (formerly Bassey Ekong), Dip Ed, BSc. Ed, B. Ed, M. Ed., is an educator/teacher of science on the high school panel of the local board of education in the Ottawa-Carleton region. He’s a psychology of learning specialist. A scholar, always learning, a writer, teacher and trainer, adviser board of directors and pastor of the Light of the Nations ministry international, a non-denominational ministry with its headquarters in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.